As you may, or may not be aware—November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Rather than posting corny quotes and cuddly stories, I've decided to dedicate this month to share more information and stories regarding the issues surrounding adoption. The entire point of "awareness" months are to educate right? Right.
To kick things off, I wanted to share my own thoughts on adoption in general. I've mentioned in another post that I'm fairly new to the online adoption/adoptee community. The only contact I've had with other adoptees are my family members (I have 14 adoptees in my family) and family friends. When I started connecting with adult adoptees outside of my family, I was was a little surprised to discover many of them are against adoption. Like a lot of them, almost every adoptee I've come across online is against it. On some level, I get it.
By no means in the adoption industry perfect, it needs to be gutted and completely rebuilt from the ground up. I understand that many adoptees have faced serious horrors that I can't relate to. I often feel that I "got off easy" in terms of my experience and can't really relate to all the negative views surrounding adoption. Yes, my parents dropped the ball on a lot of things, but I had a great life overall. I didn't experience abuse or anything like that, but I know many adoptees who have. I get why some adoptees would be against adoption.
I am still, and always will be an adoptee who is 1000% for adoption.
Here's the thing, horror story or not, there is always going to be a need for some form of an adoption system. You will never stop the need for adoption. Parents die, kids need to be removed from abusive or unfit parents, there are parents who may need to give their child a better home for whatever reason...there are a million reasons as to why an adoption may need to happen. Unless you plan on setting up donation boxes on the street with a sign saying "drop your baby here" (which is still a form of adoption), we need an adoption system. We need a "safe" and legal way to monitor and facilitate adoption. You could ban all adoption, today and all that will happen is you will see a whole bunch of kids being tossed in trash bins or abandoned on the church steps. It's just an unfortunate reality of life, adoption is a thing that will always exist. It literally exists in the animal kingdom too, this isn't some foreign thing that's hard to understand. That being said, there's a shit ton of work to do. I do not think the current system we have is safe or regulated properly, at all. Like I said before, I think we need to completely throw this current system out the window and start over from scratch, preferably with the vast majority of it being built on the input of adoptees and foster kids. But that isn't going to happen overnight, and in the meantime, there are still children who need homes.
I think now is the time for adoptees to step up to the plate and make our voices heard. We can start demanding change. You can start a blog just like me. There are so many resources available now to tell your own story. We don't need to wait for gatekeepers anymore when social media is free. Even if you are against adoption, your voice is valid, speak up and tell us why—it helps organizations, parents, adoptees and others pinpoint the problems and challenge us to do better. I will always be an advocate for adoption, and also an advocate for fixing the system. Both can be done.