Dear White People, Stop Avoiding Your Racist Family Members

Hey! It's time for the holidays, eggnog and rum anyone? Just kidding, eggnog is trash. 

The holidays have arrived, which also means seeing your family. You either hate em' or you love em', might be a bit of both. Unfortunately, we all have those people in the family that no one really likes but they're family so we put on a fake smile and avoid being in the same room. That ignorant cousin or auntie that we all roll our eyes whenever they open their wide, no lipped mouth to talk about something no one asked about. And for some of you, it's that racist uncle, grandma —whoever who likes to use slurs probably has a confederate flag, is an NRA member and likes to talk about the "old days" when the negroes weren't so sensitive. The majority of the family knows they're racist and fucked up but, let it slide in the spirit of not wanting to ruin the holidays. Well, folks, I'm here to tell y'all to stop all that nonsense and get to ruining Christmas. 

Look white folks, racism is alive and well. A large part of that is because Y'ALL do very little to make sure it stops. The bystander white is the worst racist of all. Those are y'all who say you're not racist, and maybe you aren't, but you sit by and allow racism to happen. Which reminds me of a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote Y'all conveniently forget to quote when you're swimming up his ass to find a reason to justify doing nothing.

First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can’t agree with your methods of direct action;” who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection
— Letter from Birmingham Jail

What a drag. Ain't it delicious. Tea anyone?

White folks have spent so long whitewashing MLK into being some sort of white savior when in reality, he had no time for y'all. But that's a rant I've already written. 

back to the point though—if you are truly against racism, then you need to take some action to stop the cycle. There are high school and college kids out here talking about lynching n*ggers in school. Guess what, it is 2017, not 1820. These are YOUR kids, not your great-grandparents, YOURS, yes you Sharon and Chad, those are your racist kids. They come from you, which means someone is teaching them to be racist and it sure the hell ain't black folks. When you know your family is or has a racist person in it, and are doing/saying nothing about it, you are part of the problem. As far as I am concerned, also a racist. If you are willing to be a bystander to racism in your own house, why would I trust that you would help me?  It's no different than if you see someone being attacked on the train and you just decide to turn around and pretend like you didn't see anything. Did that stop the attack from happening? No. That victim was still attacked, robbed hopefully alive. You could have stopped it, or at least tried but you did nothing. 

Ignoring racism doesn't make it go away. If you are a real ally, then the first thing you should be doing is calling out your fellow white people...starting with your own family. Stop avoiding thanksgiving dinner so you don't have to talk to your Trump supporting father. No, instead, roll up to the dinner table, dressed in an Obama T-shirt, Colin Kaepernick sweats and dare your musty dad to say something about it. Call out your granny when she makes an offhand comment about the "coloreds". If you can't call out your own family, then why are you even here? Change starts in your own household and community. Imagine if every white person on the planet just took 15 minutes to stop racism in their own house. We would have ended racism ages ago.

Now, if you have tried talking to your family, and I mean really tried, not "I mentioned it once and nothing happened", and they're still racist shitbags, well that's another story and probably should find a new family that isn't a steaming pile of garbage. But if you haven't even bothered to call them out, then you are just as bad as they are, and you are not an ally. You don't even need to be physical, although if it does turn into a boxing match, record it and send it to me. I love me a good fight. Sometimes it just takes a "Woah, hey that's fucked up Chloe. Maybe you should hush your mouth". I mean what are they really going to do? Unless you are a child that depends on them, then they have no power over you. Let them have it. The worst that can happen is someone cuts you off and if that is the case, at least you went out in a blaze of social justice glory and you will get a GoFundMe campaign. I have and still frequently cutt off any family memeber who isn't up to speed on racism. I don't have time for you and I don't have time for a family member who refuses to acknolwege that I am black and deal with racism daily. That tells me you do not care about my life so why would I want you around? Furthermore, why would I care about being civil with you? No I'm going to haul off on your ass the first time you put a toe out of line and I'll sleep just fine. 

So this year, don't hide. Don't let racism slide because you don't want to miss out on some store-bought ham and slightly salted green beans. Start checking your racist family members. Start being an active ally. Start being a part of the solution. Stop being a part of the problem.